Tag Archives: Obama

And So The GOP Field Starts To Cure Like Cement

Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin at 2008 GOP convention. Photo from PBS Newshour photo stream in Flickr.

You know what I think? Well, I’m not sure, but:

Barack Obama is going to win.

Yeah, I know, it’s by far not a sure thing. And he might have done better if Sarah Palin had decided to toss her hunting cap into the ring and was nominated,because, really.

But she has given up, because she’s more free to seek and speak her mind that way. Good luck.

New Jersey’s governor is insisting that no means no,  like a college counselor advising incoming freshmen football players.

So the current crop of GOP hopefuls is what we’re probably stuck with. Sarah might, in a way, have strengthened the field by drawing off the crazies and maybe helping someone reasonable emerge. I really hope the GOP nominates someone I can live with as President, because he (or, horrors, she) might win. (The “horrors,” by the way, are not at the idea of a woman president, just a reaction to that particular possibility in the current GOP field.)

But, who will the GOP pick? Slow-talking, bad-dressing Rick? Slick, position-switching Mitt? Tall walking, smart talking, imaginative and slightly loony Ron?

The ecomomy sucks, the wars drag on, a federal budget deficit mounts, the gap between have and have not yawns wider as more are laid off into the economic void of despair—and yet, I think, Obama is going to win.

Because who is going to beat him?

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Obama, Spock’s Long-Lost Brother

It feels a little odd, not writing about Audrey’s brother  Mike yet, whose loss is still so raw, but I’m still collecting my thoughts and might post something after his memorial service Sunday.

So, instead, a totally silly post. About the President of the United States, who clearly can’t be eligible to be president for some reason. Sure, now he’s PROVEN he was born in Honolulu, but can you trust him, his so-called facts or his proof? And don’t let trivial asides like evidence get in the way of Truth.

America made a huge mistake in 2008, because clearly we did not vote for a sweet old man who looks like he belongs in the white bread country club formed by all of our other chief executives.

Oh, sure. Hawaii was technically a state when Obama technically came into this world technically there, but it was just barely a state, and how real a state is Hawaii, anyway? We don’t elect presidents from Hawaii any more than we take seriously quitting governors from under-populated, barely American backwater states like Alasksa. Frankly, I’m not really ready yet to accept that Richard Nixon was really eligible to be President because he was born in California, and, honestly, isn’t that state just barely American, too?

The brave patriot birthers will carry on their patriotic crusade come hell, high water, birth certificates, facts or any other ravings from snobs such as professors because clearly there is plenty of other evidence that Obama isn’t fit for office.

Just consider the mounting outrages:

The whole salt-and-pepper icky thing. There, I said it. How un-American was it to choose parents that make what was then a racially segregated country uncomfortable? Clearly, it was an un-American thing for a future leader of the free world to do. A future president should choose a less racially diverse color scheme for his ancestors so the very idea of a family picture won’t give anybody fits.

Alien brothers

Clearly, alien brothers. Logical, cold, rational and not ready to lead America.

His odd manner of speech. Obama doesn’t have a slow comfortable Texas drawl that allows him to invent new terms like New-Que-Lar, but he also doesn’t have an upper-crust Boston accent, either. No good South, Midwest, West or Northeast regionalisms in his speech. Obama speaks as if he were manufactured in an artificial place rather than born. Like a greenhouse in Honolulu. Besides, I saw “Lilo & Stitch,” and I know that Hawaii is infested by aliens—not Kenyan aliens, Milky Way and beyond aliens. His artificial speech pattern suggests that, rather than being Kenyan, perhaps our president is a robot or Vulcan. And as only a half-human, Spock couldn’t be president, either.

He lived in Indonesia. The closest a true American gets to Indonesia is Indiana, and a true American can’t even spell “Indonesia,” let alone find it on a globe. And Obama had a foreign dad and another foreign (and Muslim and therefore terrorist) stepdad. Some of our wise blog friends speculate that this means he has dual citizenship, which makes him un-American and not eligible to be President of the U.S. of A. Don’t ask me where it states in the U.S. Constitution that “dual citizenship” disqualifies someone to be president—the document just mentions being a natural born citizen—but it’s a living document and I’ll train that basic legal bush the way I want it, gosh darn it. There. No half-Vulcan, dual citizen, not true American should ever be elected our Prez.

Obama clearly engages in un-American leisure activities. He never was in Little League. Although basketball is an American-invented game, in that it wasn’t corrupted from some prissy British bat game like baseball was, true Americans were all in Little League. (I’m not a true American by that standard, nor was Ronald Reagan). Red-blooded sons of the U.S. get fat playing baseball or pack on pounds so they can knock other people over playing God’s true American sport, football (and I don’t mean that namby-pamby foreign footsie football, either—and if she says I do, then soccer). Baskeball? Sorry, but it’s clearly some sort of African tribal ritual, not an American sport no matter where it came from (like Obama himself, in a way, who clearly can’t be American no matter where he came from, either).

Finally, Obama not only seems to read a lot—always a bad sign—but to have written a lot, too. True Americans watch NASCAR and play video games. Reading? Writing? Really? Who has time?

Obama thinks he’s put the birth issue out of our minds by dropping a trivial little birth certificate on us.

Ha! As if. To paraphrase Stephen Colbert’s famous speech about President Bush, a true American will clearly believe on Thursday what he believed on Tuesday no matter what happens on Wednesday.

So we know Barrack isn’t one of us. Don’t we?


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The Union’s State: It Could Be Worse

Barack Obama gave a compelling State of the Union speech, which displayed the oratorical skills that earned him the White House in the first place. I thought it was a fairly clear call to action, but in the days since, the chattering I’ve heard has been more negative than positive (and I don’t watch Fox so-called “News” very often because, as a former journalist, I have to say “Fox News” is an oxymoron—that’s right, both an ox and a moron).

Obama speaking

Official White House photo, Obama delivering the State of the Union Speech.

Well, as a speech teacher, I would give him an A-. Nice connections, some self-deprecating humor, a clear acknowledgement of his political situation, but it goes on way too long and needs more clarity—some ringing phrases. As Jon Stewart said (now you know, besides the New York Times web site and NPR, where I am getting my analysis), he needs 2 or 3 clear points on healthcare that he hammers home.

But, what if? What if President John McCain were giving his first State of the Union speech?

By now, who would be his Vice President? After all, if governor of Alaska, which is an actual job with responsibilities, wouldn’t entertain a rogue elephant for a full term, why would Vice President of the United States? Oh, wait. Maybe a “fake” job with no real responsibility was the direction Sarah Palin was striking out in … maybe VP is perfect for her. The only other job she’s a good fit for is being another Fox “News” ninnyhead—which surely has not much more responsibility than VP …

This could be America's VP right now ....

If President McCain were giving the speech, most of us would be sincerely praying for his continued health.

If President McCain were giving the speech, he might be explaining how further tax cuts will somehow lift us out of the depression we slid into. Would President McCain’s administration have acted in concert with the Bush administration to do an expensive, budget-busting, deficit-raising, unpopular emergency bailout? I don’t think the dire warnings of a potential 1930s-style Great Depression were BS at all—we had deregulated markets to the point where they were engaged in dangerous 1920s style boom-time speculation. We dodged a bullet and now complain about how noisy the neighborhood is and how the cops keep trampling in our bushes.

With his GOP habits, would President McCain understand that? I know the deficits are a huge looming problem, and I am concerned that Obama talks a better game than he plays in that matter, but let us not forget where we were a year ago. Almost in Hooverville on a global scale.

If President McCain were giving the speech, he wouldn’t have Michelle Obama and her initiatives to point to. I frankly had trouble listening to Mrs. McCain during the campaign. When you compare Cindy and Michelle in warmth, sincerity and intelligence, it’s all Michelle.

Anyway, at least President McCain wouldn’t be much happier about the Supreme Court putting democracy for sale to the highest bidder. Somehow, however, I don’t think Sam would be muttering quite so much to himself—conservative white guys seem to have a more visceral reaction when they disagree with Barack than when the disagree with Navy Hero John.

So—to summarize. Did the President’s speech change the world? No. Was it a good speech? Yes, but not a great one. Am I glad Barack Obama was giving it?

You betcha. Point. Wink. Think of the alternative.


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