So 2013 is here. I am not going to write a bunch of resolutions, because they would be too redundant of resolutions I’ve made in the past. But, what do I hope will happen in 2013?
- Congress and the President will learn to work together. Hey, a guy can dream, right? 2013 is not an election year and the people spoke already in 2012. Let’s see some actual politics—horse trading, back and forth, compromise—in Washington. The fiscal cliff fiasco was pathetic, and may demonstrate the need for serious reforms along the Iowa lines to get rid of the American habit of gerrymandering. The world’s oldest democracy has fallen into serious dysfunctional habits, and we, as in “we, the people” need to be attentive so we can reward the worthy and punish the offenders in 2014.
- Enrollment in all majors, but particularly communication majors, will increase at Mount Mercy University. As a school, we’re not as well known for the diversity of programs that we offer as we ought to be. And any student who aspires to a professional communication career should consider a communication major. We’re revamping our curriculum right now, we offer internships in a very internship-rich environment, and we have excellent liberal arts minors and majors to complete any student’s education in journalism, public relations or practical communications. Plus, we’re very transfer friendly. How about it, high school and community college class of 2013? Give MMU a look.
- The vampires-are-hot trend in teen entertainment will sparkle out and never be heard from again.
- Peter Jackson will release the second “Hobbit” movie, which will cover roughly 20 pages of the book. The Hobbit and dwarfs will meet the man-bear Beorn and eat, and eat, and eat and eat. For no particular reason but to stand there and look super, Galadriel will show up for the party. The movie will include long action sequences in the kitchen which will explain how ponies and goats can not only knead bread, but knead bread that a hobbit or any sentient creature would be willing to eat. And there will be scintillating 3-D effects of bees zooming through giant flowers. Really, really, big bees. Really, really big flowers. The only battle scene will feature Beorn skinning a warg and decapitating a goblin (now, now, just noting what happens in the book). At the end of the movie, Gandolph rides off south with Galadriel, and the rest of the company enters Mirkwood. Thorin will realize, contrary to first impressions, that Bilbo is actually an excellent chef. The end.
- Fox News will see its ratings plummet as Americans wake up and realize that they actually want fair and balanced news, and Fox is not it. And gun violence will be reduced by meaningful, balanced legal reforms. Yeah, I know. But I can dream.
- Speaking of dreams: North Korea will become a democracy. So will Egypt. The Middle East will not seethe with violence. China will enforce international copyright laws. And Vladimir Putin will finally decide that it doesn’t matter what punk rockers sing or say, he just won’t jail them for it.
- I will have read 12 books that I’ve never read before, lost 15 pounds, traveled to Paraguay and walked a Bix by Jan. 1, 2014. True, this paragraph seems like resolutions. I could not help myself. I will also learn self-control in 2013.
Anyway, what are your hopes and dreams for 2013?